The Escapist

"And, in the end, we lie awake
And we dream of making our escape"

Do you remember the last time you stopped? The last time you took in the fact that you’re alive?
The last time you broke from the routine, from the schedule, from the chains. The last time you stopped thinking about the future? How many times have you looked up at the sky and realised that it’s the most gorgeous blue you’ve ever seen? Laid down on a field with no attention of re-joining the world? We’re stuck in a rut. Time is running out.

 

You were 3 a few days back, cutting a birthday cake and licking the knife out of ignorance. You were spending your vacations unaware of how time flew, unaware of responsibilities. You were 13 a few
days back, playing football in the rain and disregarding all sense of personal cleanliness. When the promise of Next Time hung in the air, where it would reside permanently. The time you took for granted, under the promise of its return. You were 18 a few days back when you had your first kiss.
The lingering threat of the Real World was no longer a threat. The nest was taken out from under your feet. Do you remember crying the first night out of sheer loneliness and your utter disregard of forgotten Time? Do you remember how the tears stained the skin which laughed over the next four years of ups and downs?

And you sit there. It’s a Friday night. It’s 9pm. You’ve given one exam and will proceed to give another which will qualify you to give a third and so on and so forth. Until even that’s over. And the days of careless expenditure slip away and then you have commitments. The days of sleeping in while your mom scolded you into attending school were gone. It’s either work or die broke. You’re skydiving without a parachute. You’re running a rat race to qualify for another job where you begin the rat race again until the market saturates with your skill level. That’s it. You’ve reached the destination, you can’t go higher. This is your constant now.

 

 

You settled down with a girl, definitely not of your dreams but more of your adjusted expectations.
The first 4 months, she’s the love of your life. The next 50 years, she’s an added stress. Not to mention your precious children who mean the world to you, but hold on. You’re not done being an
adult. You’re not even done being a child. How did you get here? You went from being someone’s son to being someone’s parent.

 

Oh no, where are we? My kids are going off to college. I realise I was the one who kidnapped their nest, like my parents and their parents before them. What does this mean for me? The alleviation from the loss in responsibility is overshadowed by the misery of loneliness. You can feel it coming,
but you’re not ready. But you were too naive to think it waits for you.
And then one by one, they leave. The people who brought you into this world, nurtured you. You blinked for a second, you looked the other way for a minute. And now they live only in your memories. Those days of taking you on their shoulders slip away with every minute you took their love for granted.

 

But where are those times? A half-forgotten memory, the time they pushed your swing and assured you that no trouble would ever bother. Those days of keeping you warm while they stayed out in the cold. As the tears fill your eyes, you look at your watch. Tick-tock. There is no mercy. It won’t let you stop for a moment and realise what you lost. It’s the constant reminder that never fades- hurry up, your time’s up.

And you sit back. It’s a Friday. It’s 9 pm. And you realise that it was and always will be your oldest friend. As you both sit together, weary from the entire journey as it comes to full circle, Time looks at you. Go ahead, he says, I’ll excuse it this one time.
You breathe a sigh of relief and close your eyes. There you are again. On the rooftop of your
favourite house in your favourite city while the sun sets in the distance. Where the one song you
never came around to fulfilling plays for one last time. Where you look up at the sky and realise how
lucky you were to be at that place at that time. How this moment is made only to fade away, but nothing else mattered then. It was you, it was time, it was that song and it was the beautiful blue sky with promises of the unknown. When you promised yourself that you would spend more time like this, and how Time laughed at your promise. When the world had to wait, where you were one with all that was real and unreal. The words rang in your ear that penultimate time,

"And, in the end, we lie awake
And we dream of making our escape."

As those words rang again, a tear strolled down your face one last time. Dreaming of Escape.