Sparks

I don't know how not to be in love with you

I don't know how not to think about you when I hear a sad song

Or wonder how you'd react to a meme

Or a particularly hard day in your life. 

I'm not aware of what it feels like to cook for you

To watch your eyes light up at the thought of someone else caring for you

Or watch an old 80s movie with you while you gobble up the popcorn and reach for the cookies

I'll never know what you look like fresh out of the shower

With your hair all wet and skin radiant

I can only imagine the number of seconds you spend brushing your teeth

Or what you mumble when you're woken up at some ungodly hour.

I can't walk with you past old buildings that tower down on us like the inconsequent creatures we are

Or find some sunny day to read our books while you devour sandwiches with your head on my lap. 

Put my arm around you in movie theatres or hand you my jacket cause you like the smell and you love to see me non-fatally suffer 

Ride bicycles through meadows and hold you tight under the umbrella while it pours around us

Sing you songs when you're sick and get your friends to laugh at my jokes

Show you equations on my screen and ridicule your lack of understanding 

Or try to wrap my head around your memory of all 87 cities in South America

Kiss you to wake you up or try my best to eat your nose 

Be there for you when the good days come around 

And stay right there when the bad ones come inevitably so. 

I'll never be able to get high with you and walk outside

And wonder why the stars have aligned to put our carbonaceous bodies in one meat contraption 

Or why only 4 letters contribute to the pronunciation of lasagna. 

I can't fathom the joy on your face when I get you roses for every needless anniversary 

Or a fancy candlelight dinner for your birthday

Spending all my weekly earnings just to see you smile and see me froth at the idea of tipping 20% 

If it's holding on to your hand on adventure rides 

Or letting you sleep on my shoulder in the back of an Uber

Making Spotify playlists of songs we'd both know we'd like 

Cringe at TV shows and argue over which couple deserves to be together

Make you meet my mom while I gush over everything great about you

Or just simply lay in your bed

Watch the sunlight fade outside 

And the see it peek back just a few hours later

Most of all, I don't know how to go about this life without you

Where every little thing I feel needs to be conveyed to you

Where the small things that make me laugh

Would only spark the same reaction in you

Where we'd leave this world behind every night 

And float into outer space 

Jump between the asteroids and openly flirt with the stars 

Only to rejoin humanity every morning 

Never with regret, but only with joy

No, I don't think I know how not to be love in with you

And I'm scared I never might.